Reading the latest entries in XM issues (Sodding ice), I thought it might be interesting to start a thread on hairy motoring moments. I've slowed down recently so mine goes back forty years.

1968 in Germany, car was a nearly new Vauxhall Viva SL90 which the motoring mags told me had handling second only to a Lotus Elite. Wife was in Rinteln Military Hospital having some internal rearrangement done, I was doing my regular evening dash from Paderborn to visit her.

Two-way road built on a hillside, wooded slope to the left, a sheer drop to a valley on the right protected by a single Armco barrier, road dropping down to a right hand bend then rising after the bend. It had been raining and the road was wet, but I was late and pressing on. No other traffic around.

As I entered the bend I realised that water was running off the slope and across the road like a shallow river, then two things happened simultaneously. A Beetle came over the crest ahead and down the slope towards me and the back end of my car broke away.

Steering into the slide everything was under control but as I skidded across the road from right to left I had a fleeting image of the eyes of the approaching driver and his passenger standing out like organ stops. Realising I had to get back onto my own side of the road I overcorrected and the car immediate broke away violently to the right, arriving with a crash up against the Armco. This kicked the car around 180 degrees clockwise and I had a few further frightening seconds charging backwards up the hill and trying not to write off the nearside of the car as well as the offside that I had already crunched.

After it stopped I got out and waved to the VW driver, who had stopped at the bottom of the hill, to let him know I was OK. Then I walked around to the left of the car to see the extent of the damage - and I couldn't see any! In fact it seems that the upper bulge of the Armco had kicked in the RH rear light lens and battered the body seam inside and the lower bulge had passed under the bumper without contacting anything. Total cost, one new lens, one bulb and a couple of minutes with a mole wrench straightening the body seam.

Someone up there likes me!

Sometime I'll tell you about the time a German polizei drew his gun on me at the Nurburgring.

Anyone else?

Derek

One here for Paul, as I see he's reading this and MIG welding is topical at the moment!

I was welding a repair section into the seam on the driver's footwell of my cherished favourite
Cx GTi from underneath with it on ramps and the carpet and driver's seat had been removed
as I was welding...

Everything 'went up' igniting the underseal nearby where the heat in the metal ignited the
whole lot due to the heat. That wasn't bad in as much as I was about to reach for a heavy
dense rag to smother the flames when it caught the fuel line that has nowhere near where
I had been working!!!

OK, I was under the car in a bit of a flap watching the situation degenerate as time went on
and I was just on the brink of springing up from underneath the car as the flames were getting
nasty when a passerby asked me if I needed help on seeing the flames and asked if I had a
hosepipe connected nearby! Yay, as luck would have it a hose was 30 feet away and switched
on as I was losing the battle to tame the flames as the petrol dribbling into the flames burnt
in a long jet!! Guardian Angel was quick that day. Hard lesson learned, I'm neurotic now and
have a fire extinguisher, hosepipe and bottled water nearby.

Then there's the electrocution from a mains inspection lead lamp as I was just about to grab
my trolley jack handle and the self combusting Xm mentioned elsewhere. Actually, I've
forgotten all the really hairy scrapes otherwise I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning!

I'll drag through the remnants of my addled mind now!

Andrew

My most scary moment behind the wheel was a couple of years ago when i had my Honda CRX Del sol, driving to work rather briskly at about 6am, it had been raining very heavily for days, i crested a hill on undercliff drive (a road that runs around the back of the island that is cut into the chalk and clay cliffs in that area) only to find that about 50ft of the road had dropped off and slid down the cliff leaving nothing but a 15ft deep hole 50ft long with a stone retaining wall to the right and a 4ft dry stone wall over which was a sheer drop maybe 100ft to the beach.
two things happened that day,

1, I found that the brakes were not as crap as i thought, just not as good as the Cits
2, i went through 2 pairs of underwear

D

Scary moments ? 40-50mph on an old Honda CX500 as a white van man in the other lane decided to do a 3 point turn right in front of me... don't remember the rest but the police said I didn't even hit the brakes, broken neck, fractured spine and massive bruising to my nethers as I took the petrol tank with me on my journey over the van

Ho hum, Colin.P

After that mine sounds quite tame - but unusual. Some years ago in Holland I was driving down the middle lane of a three lane dual carriagway when I suddenly came upon two steel ramps, old car transporter type, lying directly in my path, I had nowhere to go as all lanes were full, somehow I managed to drive along them rather than over them without further incident - apart from considerably raised blood pressure, but this is the strange bit:

Shortly after this I was driving up the newly constructed M5, in the same situation, centre lane, full of traffic, when I saw what looked like a concrete block lying in the road directly in my path, there was no way of avoiding it this time, I was a little concerned, especially as I had my young son with me, I gripped the steering wheel hard and braced myself - then, nothing happened, I looked in the mirror and saw my 'concrete block' bouncing down the road - it was apparantly a block of foam plastic!

Peter.N.

Hi

Mine was only a couple of years ago. Going anti-clockwise round the M25 up to Stansted for an early morning flight I was going down the hill past J29 (those of you who go round the M25 regularly this is the one with the big white house one the outside hill). Doing "plenty" in the fast lane when a transit coming in the distance in the opposite direction fast lane blew a front left hand tyre. The van veered to the hard shoulder (I guess out of control). The driver corrected (not wanting to go into the trees), overcorrected and veered towards the central reservation. I saw all this in the distance but I was closing in at considerable speed. As the van hit the central reservation I passed at exactly the same time on my side. I could clearly see the driver. I looked in my rearview mirror to see the transit rolling down his carriageway. I looked later at the traffic news and the motorway was closed all morning. I guess that the transit driver would have been lucky to make it. I was probably about 10ft from hitting the transit but thanks to crash barriers I was fine and really if you miss by 10ft or 10inches you have missed. It was one of those weird incidents where you could do nothing and it was just pure chance.

Cheers

Tony

Hi Boyz,

Pat here, thought I'd put you chaps to shame in the broken bones dept.

I had a beautiful Triumph Bonneville,1972, which I had bought in '76.
I had two smackeroos on this bike.....
The first I ended up flying over the bonnet of a Volvo (typical). The dear woman had seemingly parked on the correct side of the road and assuming she had finished I carried on....But, you guessed it, she then turned right across my path so that she could park in her cavernous driveway! Oh she said I didn't see you coming you must have been driving too fast (at about 200mph to reach her I assume). This was on a 30mph London street!! Result, Ihad to pay for all the damage, front forks, handlebars and petrol tank. Fortunately I was not too badly hurt at the time but did develop a DVT due to a crushed leg.
The second, I ended up in Hospital for 6 months It was not anybodies fault just a case of being in the same place as a car wanted to be on a Cornish lane. This time it did hurt, quite alot actually, as the bike and I went under the front of the car at a jaunty angle. The result was the bike managed to split it's crankcases open on the car and I stopped the front of the car with my head! Injuries: 2 broken cheek bones; broken jaw; all 8 front teeth gone(in my helmet I think); broken pelvis in 3 places: part of my back broken; a bone in my foot broken and, the 'piece de reistance', I had a third degree burn down to my ankle bone where the exhaust pipe had lain on it The morphine was lovely!!
I had a lesser one on my new Suzuki GSX 750 which yet again was caused by a total w.....r who pulled out of a left turn in front of me and then decided to turn almost immediately right as I was avoiding his first manoeuvre by overtaking him. You guessed it, he broadsided me and knocked the bike and myself to the offside verge . I didn't manage to break anyhting that time but I was extremely sore for several weeks after. Wrote the bike off....
I then became sensible and went 'normal' for a while and brought up a son. That didn't last too long and now I want to be an 'idiot' again. I have fallen in love with V6 XMs..
Anyone think I am accident prone????

V6 XMs ?!?!?!?!?

pheerrrrrr, does this mean you will never get to see how 180mph feels like on a Hayabusha???

My God, u r not alive anymore!!!!

cheers
George

I started my 'motoring' life on a 125 Vespa on which I sustained greater injuries than I ever have in a car but once having graduated to a 1939 Ford Prefect I have never had the desire to go back to two wheels again - although my license says I can drive or ride virtually anything.

Rodders is... The Bionic man - jeez, ouch, ohmigod, ouch !!

Hope the cold and damp wintry weather doesn't play too much havoc with the old bones and joints

Colin.P (been dreamimg of a GPZ900 since around 1983 but Mrs.P says No ! )

Dear chaps,
It was not Rodders the guy this all happened to. It was, I, the ladylike 'her indoors' better known as Pat.
Puts you all to shame ....teee heee

Oh wow ! now I am impressed apologies Pat, I must learn to pay attention...

Wish my wife loved bikes and xm's - you're a lucky man Rodders

Cheers, Colin.P

Well, I had another nice one in my AX on the way home, after the "sodding ice" incident. The alternator belt had been a bit squealy for a few days, and when I got in the car, the battery light came on. I revved a bit, and it went out, so I diagnosed that it was merely slipping at low revs, hoped it would make it back to Southampton (4 and a half bloody hours from Norwich) and off I went. As it transpires, the belt was gone altogether, God knows what the story was with the battery light. On the A11, it's mostly well lit dual carriageway with good hard shoulders, but there's one section of about 12 miles which is unlit, single carriageway, no hard shoulder, narrow pavement, and very very busy at rush hour. I had been feeling my lights were even worse than usual, and half way along this section, I start to wonder if my instruments were fading. I'm having trouble seeing, so I go to clean the screen - the spray gets only halfway up, the wiper stops after moving only 1/4 of the screen, and with that, the dash is in darkness, and I no longer have any lights whatsoever. Traffic is moving at 40-50 mph, there are no barriers, no street lights, and I'm invisible! Well, there was no way I was going to pull onto a pavement not wide enough for my car when I have no hazards, so there was nothing for it but to press on for the last 4 or 5 miles to the next roundabout where there is a service station. Ideally I would've kept up with the cars in front, but I was frankly afraid to do so, and the guy behind me, having seen my lights fade out, was sensibly keeping his distance. The only really hairy parts were a couple of occasions where there was a break in traffic the other way, meaning that there were no lights whatsoever for 100m in any direction. Not sure whether it was scarier trying to stay on a road I couldn't see, or worrying about the truck that was thundering down the road in the opposite lane, and had no idea I was there! Anyhow, I made it in one piece, as you can tell.....

I have some good ones concerning driving my bus to India which I might retell, but the other British story that springs to mind involved no actual danger, but complete brown trousers. I was on the M3 in an old Fiesta, overtaking a truck, when one of his tyres blew out. I was in the next lane, right next to the tyre, and not only did it sound like a bomb going off, but it actually rocked the car! I realised what it had been as he slowed and moved to the hard shoulder, but I still had to stop at the next services to recover my composure!